My life fucking sucks.

So, I am having myself a pitty party and I, wholeheartedly, believe that I am entitled to it. I finally got a call back from the RE.

Not. Good. News. I don't know how much longer I have the strength to keep dealing with this.
And of course, I got off the phone and realized I didn't ask her some other important questions because I was basically in shock.

So... There is no way, no how that I will get pregnant without intervention. Ok, sure, we knew that. But I was told that there is also no way, no how that I will get pregnant by oral fertility meds. Nope, people, this Mama (or lack of) will not be a Clomid success story.

She wants me to go straight to injectables. Shots. And lots of them. And then she wants us to do the IUI with the injectables cycle. Price you may ask? Injectables- $3k a cycle. IUI- Oh, about another $2k with monitoring, etc. She also wants me to go and have a bone density scan and said that I would have to take additional, daily, shots throughout my pregnancy for the blood disorders that I have. I also need Estrogen as part of my treatment, but due to my blood disorders, I cannot have Estrogen given to me via medication.

What. the. Fuck. Why, on God's green Earth does my life have to be so hard?

Some may ask, am I being mellow dramatic? Nope. Not at all. Trust me, if you knew my life story, you would feel me. You would completely understand.

She wants me to stop the brain tumor medication because she said it is not delivering the hormones needed for me to start a period.. which goes with the whole thing that no pills are going to help me. But, the important question I failed to ask was, if I stop taking this medication, how the hell is my tumor going to continue to be treated?

Also, there is no way that I can do injectables right now... One, I don't have an extra $5k laying around (for one cycle!!) and two, I can't go in for monitoring each week with my Fieldwork schedule of leaving the house by 6:45am and not getting home until after 6:00pm, Monday thru Friday.

So, I'm going to call her back tomorrow (and will probably get charged for another phone consultation) and ask her what I need to do to treat this tumor and deal with my other issues until I can start injectables and do the IUI procedure, which won't be until May after I graduate.

I am one fucked up case, that's for sure. And those weren't the EXACT words of the Doctor, but they were pretty damn close.