Join me as I navigate through my life. Through the good times and the bad. The happy and sad. At times, I may be randomly blogging nonsense, or at other times, it may be worth reading. I'll let you decide!
Not sure if anyone still checks in and reads this blog, but I have started another one to detail our pregnancy journey.. If you read this and want to follow the other one, please send me an e-mail at Ryann1201@yahoo.com with your name and how you know/know of me.. The information on the other blog is more personal, so I want to make sure that I know or "know of" the people who will be reading it. If I don't respond to your e-mail (hopefully it doesn't go into the spam folder), just leave a comment and I'll check for it! :)
So, I am only 10 weeks along today.. But then I read something this morning (or maybe it was last night?) that said the next 30 weeks will go by fast.. And I assume they will.
I have always been a planner in everything. Our wedding, our new house, trips, etc. And it's naturally carried on to the baby planning. I will admit that I browsed through nursery bedding ideas months back before I was even pregnant... but wasn't exactly sure what I liked.
I am a VERY indecisive person and I typically go back and forth with decisions for quite awhile and if Christian isn't sure either, it only makes it worse! haha It honestly makes me feel anxious when I am trying to decide between two or more things... So, I decided to just get it done.
For example, Christian and I decided on baby names that we liked quite a while ago.. We have a boy's name picked out and a girl's name picked out. We are not looking through baby name books or coming up with other ideas. We have two names picked out and we're sticking to them.
Same thing with baby crib bedding.. Yesterday, I spent a great deal of time looking at bedding and e-mailing them to Christian for his opinions. We've narrowed it down to one boy bedding and one girl bedding.. and I'm 90% sure that we're sticking to those.. unless I stumble across something else that I like more (but I don't really plan on looking) or if we find something that is a little more reasonably priced. We've also got an idea of what color we are painting the walls, depending on the bedding.
There is also a line of baby items (stroller, bassinet, etc.) that we really like and I'm pretty certain that's what we're going with..
So.. I'm only 10 weeks pregnant, but I'd say we've got quite a bit figured out already! :)
My next appointment is with my MFM Dr. on Tuesday, the 16th. We're having another ultrasound, so I'm excited about that.
I'm still waiting on my temp license so that I can start work. I really hope that it's here by next week. I can only work until October and need to get started to make some money! We mailed out 38 resumes to different companies for Christian yesterday... hopefully some leads will come from that!
My MFM Dr. took me off of my Lovenox and decided to closely monitor me, due to my history of Osteopenia.. She said that being on the injections caould cause me to lose 30% of my bone mass.
Well... today, I started getting some numbness and tingling in my right arm.. My arms are where my blood clots always form.. Which, my Dr. has said, is rare and shows that I have a higher potential to develop clots. So, I called and left a message for my Dr. just to see if I needed to do anything differently (I take a daily aspirin) and they said to start up my Lovenox immediately tonight!
..And just when the bruises on my stomach were starting to heal.. But, whatever it takes to keep this baby alive, I will do.
Since the beginning of my pregnancy (when I found out), the longest I have gone is 2 weeks between appointments. I'll only be 9 weeks this week, but I've already had 4 appointments! My next one isn't for another 19 days.. and it's been about a week since my last one. Yes, I know that many women don't get their first appointment until 8 weeks, so in that sense, I am lucky, but still...
I have been really sick and at my appointments, I have been told this is a really good sign that things are going along as they should. This weekend, I started to not feel *as bad* (although I still am sick some throughout the day) and it's making me nervous. I'm not saying that I WANT to be sick, but being sick has assured me that things are going ok.
I have to admit that I am turning into a nervous wreck.. I am so nervous that I am going to go in for another ultrasound in the next few weeks and something won't be right with the baby.. I know I need to think positive, but I'm just scared.. Infertility will always be a part of my life, no matter what, and I'm trying to enjoy the pregnancy, but I just can't right now. The fact that they also took me off of my injections makes me nervous as well.. I could handle the appointments every 2 weeks, but having to wait longer is just hard. ...And I think the main concern is coming from the fact that I haven't been as sick the last two days..
Things are going good.. I have been pretty nauseous the past week or so, but haven't actually thrown up. Just a constant feeling that I am getting ready to. Eating has been a little rough, as nothing sounds good and I have to literally force myself to eat because the thought of food makes me want to vomit! haha ..But my Dr. said that me feeling sick is actually a really good sign. She said that I've just got so many hormones going on in my body (where there has actually been a huge shortage the past few years) and that this really is a good sign. So, I'll take it! :)
We had two appointments on Tuesday.. One was with my high risk pregnancy Dr. (MFM). She decided to take me off of the injections because of my history with osteopenia. She said that since I already have bone loss, that if I stay on the injections throughout my entire pregnancy, it can cause me to lose 30% of the bone mass that I have left. Which, obviously, wouldn't be a good thing because she said it would make my bones extremely brittle. So.. I'm still taking my aspirin each day as a blood thinner and have to keep an eye on the feeling if I am getting any clots. Mine have always been in my arms, which she says are very uncommon and means that I am at a higher risk for clots. She said later in the pregnancy, they may have to put me back on the injections. I see this Dr. again in three weeks.
Then, later that afternoon, we had an appointment with my OBGYN.. We did an ultrasound and saw the baby.. It's amazing how much it has grown since the ultrasound 13 days ago! We could see the head and the arms and the Dr. said when she first looked at the screen it was moving around. When she showed it to us, the baby was floating around upside down. It was amazing that we could actually see that there was, in fact, a baby in there.. It's still such a surreal feeling.. But the Dr. said that everything looks great and that the baby is right on track with where it needs to be! I'll go back to this Dr. in 4 weeks.
So, I am currently 8 weeks pregnant, with a due date of January 6, 2010. The kept going back and forth, but after seeing three doctors, they all agreed on this. :) When I go back to my regular OBGYN, I will be getting ready to start my 2nd trimester.. During my second trimester, I will probably see my high risk Dr. once a month and my OBGYN once a month.. Then, when I start my 3rd trimester (which will be in the beginning of October), both of them want to each see me TWICE a WEEK. So.. my entire weeks from then on will consist of pretty much nothing but Dr's appointments. They've also suggested I not work during my third trimester.. which would be pretty hard to do anyways with all of those appointments.
As far as jobs for us.. Christian is still looking.. He's submitting resumes everyday to companies and is either getting no reply or people saying they are not currently hiring. I think him and I need to sit down this weekend and really brainstorm on ideas.. Double check which companies he has applied to, send out hard copy resumes, etc. Thankfully, he still has his current job!
Yesterday, I submitted all of my paperwork to get my license to practice.. It took a few days of running around to get everything that I needed, but it is finally done. Now, it's just a waiting game to hear back from them and to receive my license. I'm hoping it's within the next couple of weeks because I really need to start work. I have that job offer from my first clinical rotation, and I have already received the hire packet to fill out and today, my Supervisor and I will be talking money.. I'm so ready to start, but can't do anything until I receive my license.
Mason is still his crazy self and Cooper is still always wanting to be on top of me. We have noticed a big change in Bailey, which surprises me. I think he senses that there is something "different" with me because anytime I'm laying on the couch, he has to be touching me with his head next to, or on my belly. He has also gotten very protective and barks at any noise or any person outside.. He has NEVER done this. Before these changes, we could count how many times he has barked in the years that we have had him..
I am sick... and have been, pretty constantly. My morning sickness is lasting throughout the day. It typically comes in the morning, then randomly throughout the day, and then gets really bad in the evening and lasts until I fall asleep at night. Nothing sounds good to eat and I have to force food down, because I know that I need it..
I have an appointment with my MFM Dr. on Tuesday and then one later that afternoon with my OBGYN. I'm going to mention the sickness to see what they think, but I'm thinking that I may need to take some medicine for it. .. Especially when I am working. If you know anything about working in a skilled nursing facility, there are some weird, strong smells that would even make a normal person sick. And part of my job as a therapist will be working with my patients in their room and doing bathing, dressing, etc. so I need to be able to handle any smells that may come my way..
I feel bad because for the last two nights, Christian has been excited to grill out, but the thought makes me want to gag. Last night, the only thing I was able to eat were about three french fries. Tonight, I am attempting a baked potatoe and mixed veggies.. He'll be grilling a steak to go with his meal as well.
Honestly, this pregnancy doesn't seem real. I mean, the sickness and the nightly injections obviously mean something's going on, but as far as having a baby inside of me.. Yeah, it hasn't hit me yet. We've had two ultrasounds so far and will have another (if not two!) on Tuesday, but I really don't think it's going to feel real until I start getting bigger and actually feel the baby moving.. And I've got quite a ways off until then. Of course, a big part of this is the fact that my IF struggles are always on my mind. It's so hard to just let go of the guard that I have put up to have to deal with the worse at any moment.. No matter what, IF will always be apart of my life.. I just hope that I can enjoy being pregnant soon and not constantly be worrying!
Just got done with my first injection.. Wow! That hurt!! It actually felt like electric shocks as the medicine was going in..
Funny story (but not so much at the time):
I could not, for the life of me, get the cap off of the needle. C and I both tried for 20 minutes.. We went to 2 neighbors who weren't home to see if they could try (one has gone through IF stuff, so I thought she may be my best shot, as she knows about our pregnancy). Then, our older neighbor next door was outside and I asked him if he knew of anyone in the neighborhood who was a nurse (we just moved here a few months back). He pointed me to a house (we have never met this lady) and C and I walked over to knock on her door. Her windows were open and we could hear people talking, but they wouldn't answer the door..
So, finally, I got in the car and was headed to Walgreens and called my Mom. She suggestion that I try the fire department, so I turned around and drove there!! I went in and told them this was my first injection and could not get the cap off. They tried for a minute and then finally pulled at it like they were going to rip it in half and it finally came off.. Hopefully, that one was just defective and they aren't all like that.. So, then I drove home with an open syringe so I could give myself my first injection at home... The things we do... lol
I may be young in age, but not so much in spirit. I'm just a girl who tries to not let the stresses of the world control me, but most of the time they do. I'm trying my hardest to elimate this hold on my life and just enjoy it and live up to my full potential! I want to be a carefree, sunshine loving, bubbly, and funny person and not be constantly worrying about what's to come!