Oh. The. Sickness.

I am sick... and have been, pretty constantly. My morning sickness is lasting throughout the day. It typically comes in the morning, then randomly throughout the day, and then gets really bad in the evening and lasts until I fall asleep at night. Nothing sounds good to eat and I have to force food down, because I know that I need it..

I have an appointment with my MFM Dr. on Tuesday and then one later that afternoon with my OBGYN. I'm going to mention the sickness to see what they think, but I'm thinking that I may need to take some medicine for it. .. Especially when I am working. If you know anything about working in a skilled nursing facility, there are some weird, strong smells that would even make a normal person sick. And part of my job as a therapist will be working with my patients in their room and doing bathing, dressing, etc. so I need to be able to handle any smells that may come my way..

I feel bad because for the last two nights, Christian has been excited to grill out, but the thought makes me want to gag. Last night, the only thing I was able to eat were about three french fries. Tonight, I am attempting a baked potatoe and mixed veggies.. He'll be grilling a steak to go with his meal as well.

Honestly, this pregnancy doesn't seem real. I mean, the sickness and the nightly injections obviously mean something's going on, but as far as having a baby inside of me.. Yeah, it hasn't hit me yet. We've had two ultrasounds so far and will have another (if not two!) on Tuesday, but I really don't think it's going to feel real until I start getting bigger and actually feel the baby moving.. And I've got quite a ways off until then. Of course, a big part of this is the fact that my IF struggles are always on my mind. It's so hard to just let go of the guard that I have put up to have to deal with the worse at any moment.. No matter what, IF will always be apart of my life.. I just hope that I can enjoy being pregnant soon and not constantly be worrying!