First Injection + Pain = Check!!

Just got done with my first injection.. Wow! That hurt!! It actually felt like electric shocks as the medicine was going in..

Funny story (but not so much at the time):

I could not, for the life of me, get the cap off of the needle. C and I both tried for 20 minutes.. We went to 2 neighbors who weren't home to see if they could try (one has gone through IF stuff, so I thought she may be my best shot, as she knows about our pregnancy). Then, our older neighbor next door was outside and I asked him if he knew of anyone in the neighborhood who was a nurse (we just moved here a few months back). He pointed me to a house (we have never met this lady) and C and I walked over to knock on her door. Her windows were open and we could hear people talking, but they wouldn't answer the door..

So, finally, I got in the car and was headed to Walgreens and called my Mom. She suggestion that I try the fire department, so I turned around and drove there!! I went in and told them this was my first injection and could not get the cap off. They tried for a minute and then finally pulled at it like they were going to rip it in half and it finally came off.. Hopefully, that one was just defective and they aren't all like that.. So, then I drove home with an open syringe so I could give myself my first injection at home... The things we do... lol

Feeling Thankful

Today I am feeling so thankful. After checking in on my TTTC ladies, I just became overwhelmed with a sense of thankfulness. I am so thankful to have this baby growing inside of me. I am so thankful to have gotten pregnant during our "break cycle". It's almost overwhelming to me... I am still in shock, but I am so, so happy. I saw someone on Facebook post ultrasound pictures.. She is about 8 weeks ahead of me and you can clearly make out the features of the baby. I cannot wait until we get an ultrasound like this!

Yesterday was the first morning that I woke up feeling sick. I woke up feeling sick this morning as well. But, once I got up and ate some oatmeal, I started to feel better.

I'm still waiting to hear back from my Dr.'s office. The daily injections they want me to take are over $1200 out of pocket a month, so we are contacting the distributor directly to see if something can be worked out, since that is an outrageous expense. My Dr. is out of the office today, so I don't expect to hear back until Monday.

Overall, things are going great! I paid the fee to register to take my boards exam so I can get my license to practice. I was offered a job before I found out I was pregnant and I let my future boss know that I am pregnant and she was more than fine with it! She is so great and I'm thankful to have a future boss like her.. Hopefully, I'll be able to begin work in the next couple of weeks.

Saw the heartbeat for the first time!

We had our second ultrasound today.. I went to my OB's new office and the staff there is fantastic!! As I was laying there, the Dr. called Christian over to look at the screen and then she turned it so I could see. And there it was... the heartbeat! I immediately burst into tears and the nurses started getting teary eyed! haha I just couldn't believe it.. We have waited for this so long and right when we had decided to quit trying for awhile, it happened. It still seems so surreal.. and it hasn't sunk in yet.

I'm going next week to tell me old coworkers and I am so excited about it! They know all about my infertility and knew each time I went to the Dr., etc. I was very open with them all about our struggle and my boss is also infertile and was never able to concieve.. So I know she is going to be ecstatic! I'm trying to think of a creative way to tell them.. I just graduated and they think I'm coming back to show gradation pictures. So, I may get some graduation pictures and take a copy of the ultrasound and put them all into envelopes and give them to them as a group. Not sure yet, but that's just an idea.

I found out that I have to do daily shots in my stomach, due to my blood disorders. Problem is, I went to get the prescription filled, and insurance denied it. So, the Dr. has to call and explain why I have to have this, etc. And if they still refuse, I will have to pay out of pocket.. all $350 of it.

In two weeks, I am going to a materal fetal medicine specialist to discuss the blood disorders and my pregnancy in general, since I am more on the "high risk" side. And then that same day, I go back to my OB for another ultrasound and bloodwork.

And while I'm waiting for these next appointments to come, I need to study for my boards exam and register to take it and also pay all of the fees associated with getting my license. I hope it doesn't end up to be as much of a pain as it seems it's going to be.

Secret Angel Exchange

Quite a few of us ladies on my Trouble Trying to Conceive Board decided to do a Secret Angel Exchange for Mother's Day. We could make a wish list of some of our favorite angels and our designated person could pick which one they wanted to get us. My angel came from Tarah (Tarahville) and she picked a perfect one for me: Angel of Wishes. We all decided to open our angels on Mother's Day so that we would each have something to look forward to.

Little did I know that I would also have something to look forward to on this day.. The fact that we are now expecting. The ladies on the TTTC board are all so supportive and caring and it is so bittersweet to be making the transition to the success after infertility board. Of course we are so very excited, but I will miss the girls on the TTTC board and may just have to pop in once in awhile to say hey! :)

I want to wish everyone a Happy Mother's Day.. Those that have children currently and those that do not yet have their babies to hold.. I know that one day, we will each be a Mother.. one way or another.. Thank you ladies for your constant support. I don't know how I would have gotten through this journey without you.

BFP, BFP, BFP!!!!

Alrighty, time to make an official announcement...

We are going to have a baby!!!

I was out and about yesterday.. went and visited my old coworkers, decided to go shopping for a graduation outfit (which is on Tuesday, by the way!), go by the tanning bed (and buy a whole new package of minutes!), and then figured I'd run into Publix and buy a pack of pregnancy tests since I was "technically" late, but with me, you never know.. I just needed to rule it out and know for sure that it was a negative.. like it has been for all these many, many, many months..

So, I get home, and Christian is mowing the lawn. I go in to try on my new outfits, but figured I'd pee on the freakin' stick to get it over with.. I pee on it, lift my arm up to set it on the counter to process and tell me that I was in fact, not pregnant (which I already knew) and I didn't even get the thing on the counter before it popped up postitive! The pregnancy line was way darker than the control line! I couldn't believe it.. I struggled to pull my pants up and find my flip flops as I stood in the bathroom, screaming, as the boys looked at me like I was crazy. I ran outside and stood on the porch, waving my hands like a mad woman (with the pee stick in my hand!), trying to get Christian's attention. He finally looked over and saw that my face was red and that I was crything and later told me that he thought something happened to one of the boys.. I ran over to the lawn mower, as he's yelling for me to be careful, so I don't get my toes chopped off.. I yell at him that we are pregnant and going to have a baby!! He sits there in shock, as he fumbles to turn the lawn mower off and I'm shoving the pee stick towards him. His first reaction was "No way, go pee on another one!" To which I replied that I was out of urine and this was definitely a positive test.. He came inside and after a minute, we immediately starting calling people. I laugh because I had always said that when this happened, we would be cautious and wait until I was out of the first trimester.. yeah, that idea didn't last long.

Christian had to go finish mowing the lawn before it turned dark, so I started googling my potential due date and calling more of my friends.. When he came back in, he decided to run to McDonald's and made sure to get me a large sweet tea so that I could produce more urine for that second test... which of course popped up positive within 3 seconds.

I barely slept at all last night.. I couldn't stop thinking about it!

This morning, I went to my RE and they did an ultrasound.. we saw the little sac, but it is still trying to be determined if I am 5 or 6 weeks along. According to my last cycle date, I should be about 6 weeks, but the ultrasound looked to be about 5 weeks. If that's the case, then I just ovulated later than what they suspect, which I think is the case.

So.. I get blood results tomorrow and go back next week for another ultrasound and repeat of today to check progress. Thankfully, I will be going to my OBGYN's office, starting next week, which will save quite a bit of money because we are covered by insurance there.

This all still seems so surreal.. I feel like it's just a dream. :)

Adding onto my list...

Fianlly got a call back from my Dr.'s office about my bone density scan. Osteopenia was shown on the scan, which is a precursor to osteoporosis. So, I already have a reduction in my bone mass/density (which typically doesn't happen until you are older). An appointment has already been made for me to see an Endocrologist so we can figure out what the heck is going on with my hormones. I was also told that I will be put on medication for my bones.

So, let's recap it all for anyone who happened to recently stumble across my blog:

- Endometriosis
- 2 Blood Disorders (Pai 1 and MTHRF)
- Pituitary Tumor
- Osteopenia
- INFERTILITY!!

It seems that no matter where I go, I can't escape babies or pregnant people. Thankfully, I am not in the "mad" stage right now, but it does make me sad.. I sit there and watch them and think about how I cannot wait until Christian and I have a baby. And wonder if I will even get there... and realize and think about everything that I have already gone through and what I will have to continue to go through to even have the chance of getting pregnant and delivering a healthy baby. I find myself surrounded by discussions of people talking about their pregnancy, how they are decorating the nursery, names they have picked out.. people who have recently had children.. stories of what their children are doing. When is it going to be our time?

So... the next step is that I will be starting acupuncture with a guy who is known for his success with infertility. Christian will also be taking supplements from the acupuncturist. We will set up the consultation in a couple of weeks and begin by the first of February. I've already had a phone consultation with him and he wants Christian and I both to cut out caffeine completely, wants me to eat eggs twice a day for the animal protein (since I am a vegetarian and won't eat meat), and not do any cardio. I am having an issue with the no cardio, as I want to lose about 10 pounds, especially before I become pregnant. I've done some research and found that weight can still be lost without cardio, but I just think it would be really difficult... But, I do know that diet is the majority of the plan for weight loss. So, I do need to start eating better.. and stop sipping on the coke I just had. Yes, I know.. no caffeine. I have said that once the caffeine is out of my house, I will not buy anymore.. And I have some tea left and about a half liter of Coke left.. Then, I'll turn hard core. I wonder if he means no chocolate either? That does have caffeine... This may be harder than I originally thought..

So... to sum it up, acupuncture until June. If no success, onto injectables and IUI.

Progress!!

Well... She has come to visit. Aunt Flo decided to see me!! I am so freakin' excited! I haven't had a period in 2 years and yesterday, it started. Now, I've just got to see if I ovulate. So, I'll start testing in about a week or so and see if I ovulate. Let's hope so! :)