My uterus is on fire and my ovaries are shooting baseballs into my abdomen.
It's kind of funny.. I had someone say to me today, "Sometimes, you look like you don't feel good." Well, truth be told, I don't. A good week for me is when I feel bad only a couple of times throughout the week. Sometimes I can control my endometriosis symptoms with a hot pack or something, but for the majority of the time, there's nothing I can do but ride it out. Some ask me what it's feels like.. Well, it's feels different, just depending on the day. Take menstral cramps and mutiple it by about 10. Your average medicine won't even touch that. Then refer to the first sentence of this blog. Yep.. talk about some pain there. Then imagine a knife being stabbed over and over again into your stomach... Those are just some of the pain feelings I experience.
I guess the thing that gets me is when people try to play up their sickness. We have one girl at work that is in a different building. One of my coworkers asked her how she was feeling one day because she had been out sick. Oh man, did that open the flood gates... Now, it's an everyday thing. She walks up here and once she gets to our department, her whole body manner changes into the sick mode. She mopes on over to drop off paperwork and stands around a moment with a look on her face like, "poor, pitiful me.. " You wanna know what this great ailment of hers is? She's trying to quite smoking! I kid you not.. One day I may just look at her and say, "What the hell is your problem?!" There are people out there with cancer and life threatening diseases and you're coming around here looking for pity for something so trivial in the grand scheme of things.
I may feel like complete and utter shit some days.. But I try my best to not let it show. I don't act all defeated and put on a poor me attitude. I deal with the pain, change my breathing patterns when needed to try and help with the pain, and push on through. I don't want people feeling sorry for me, so it makes me mad when you have someone who doesn't even technically have a health problem who is trying to milk people's sympathy.
The Gift of an Expressive Father
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